Some Will Never Know…

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Some will never know

how overwhelming and refreshing it is

to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror

and not look away

or judge

or hold back tears

To meet your own eyes

(the eyes whose hatred has plagued your life so long)

and see something beautiful

inside and out

Some of us have gone through hell

and just to say to ourselves

“oh, you lovely soul

you deserve to live this glorious life”

is a radical realization

There is no such peace

as being truly at rest in your own being

• • •

Some will never fear

the silence

all distraction stripped away

when you are confronted with who you are

But we have spent agonizing days there

in a self-made prison

torturous hours

no one to turn to

no one who cares

the only voice we hear is our own

its whispers

its screams

“I hate you…

I hate you!”

When your heart is a vacuum

no love

no hope

You physically implode

curled into a ball

paralyzed by the weight of perceived helplessness

Gasps in the terrifying void

• • •

Some will never endure

being trapped in a mask

icy shell that repels all who would love you

which you hate

but cannot leave

The bitterness of words

daggers in your bleeding heart

when they say they love you

who knows if it’s true?

You cannot believe it, either way

unable to fathom how anyone could

dying for loneliness

wishing only for love and acceptance

but lashing out

or retreating

whenever it is offered

just like the cornered animal that you are

• • •

Some will never understand what it took

just to be okay

to arise with the sun

and greet the day with hope

to meditate, alone with yourself

and be at peace

to look in the mirror and smile

a real smile

(not your camera-face)

To love yourself

everyone you meet

and all the world

To see the loveliness indwelling all

• • •

Some will never understand

the pain of healing

But you do

And I do

These words are for you, darling

One thought on “Some Will Never Know…

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