There is No Fear in Love (the post I almost didn’t write)


They say,

“Have you ever considered how easy it is

to be in favor of same-sex marriage?”

Not for me.

Not for so many who share the past that was mine

when any balanced or moderate mention–or favorable, god forbid!

of those who refused to deny their love

was met with vitriolic reaction


the lashing out of a fragile, cave-dwelling worldview

that hates a glimpse of light

For me, it has been anything but easy

to see those who love without shame as people

as real, loving, love-worthy creatures of the earth

each unique and beautiful

who cannot be fit into our labels

whose hearts break from the hate of those

who by all rights ought to love them the most

They say that few “dare to disagree”

as if most secretly hate gay people

and just feel pressured into affirming their personhood and worth

Is it such a strange concept that we might be sincere?

That we are truly happy for these brothers and sisters?

So when people ask you why you oppose equal rights,

you call it persecution

but when you spit damnation and virulence

it’s just “speaking the truth”

and LOVING?!

What the fuck.


All I see is anger and disdain

eyes stubbornly shut

a sputtering “I do not approve!”

“Listen, everyone! I DO NOT approve! Hear me!”

They say,

“Yahweh laughs”

they mean in derision

why would the creator not love the created?

but I laugh in relief and joy

in celebration with my fellow beings

Today, I rejoice with those who rejoice

as society begins to recognize their inherent dignity

as we take a step in the right direction

They call this an attack on religious freedom

…uh, how?

These people you assail,

they do not care if you continue to practice religion and marriage as you will

They ask only that you let them do the same.

Why must the world be a war?

Why must each issue be us vs. them

a battle of wills

of brute force

with hearts ripped to shreds

in gory red carpets

the shameful wake of “victory”?

They say,

“marriage is the key to strong family life

and should thus be between one man and one woman”

Please, tell me again how divorce isn’t a thing

how one man and one woman will always remain together

Oh, and tell all the hurting hearts

who are the progeny and casualties of such unions gone awry

Wait, they say that gay marriage advocates are

“dismissive of others’ beliefs in the name of love”?

Pardon my ignorance

Please explain

How is requiring another to live by your rules

regardless of whether their worldview coincides with your own

not “dismissive of their beliefs”?

How is it dismissive

to ask for a little respect and freedom

not expecting you to change your lifestyle

or even your mind?

Once upon a time

there was a girl who lived in a bubble

in fear

listening to tales of the outside world

trembling at the images of its bloodthirsty desires

venomous fangs

It was horrific


black and white

They were out to get me

When I heard their “evil”  words, bile rose in my throat

even tears to my eyes

I smugly told myself, “this is righteous anger and grief”

Oh, the remorse that pierces my heart when I see my past self

Truly, I feared the unknown

the strangers longing for love

Not even daring to examine my own unknown mind

I hated the existence of the other

even the existence of the self

Then my bubble popped

I found souls hiding behind masks

afraid to be yet again betrayed and ripped to shreds

and others standing strong and beautiful

despite the caustic words

the searing, blind hatred of those who claimed to love all

I learned to love

and there is no fear in love


No matter how “doctrinally sound” our conclusions

they are useless in the face of reality

Like the Pharisees who denied Jesus’ healing

because he broke the Sabbath

therefore was a sinner

and sinners cannot work miracles

So theologically sound to them

So heinously wrong and blind

This is not about an issue or a political position

This is about people

We are human

Spontaneous expressions of starshine and earth

dust and flame

We are not robots

manufactured copies

mechanically constructed

subject to codes and mental straitjackets

What is so wrong with acknowledging that we are all different

as varied and beautiful as a field of wildflowers

and that our diversity is a good thing?

Please, stop trying to speak for God

as if you can know the mind of the divine

Maybe start giving a shit about the people who need your love

Maybe stop giving a shit about your own opinions

your comfort

the trivialities that divert your attention from the eternal

Maybe, just maybe

You will find that hate cannot extinguish love

So love.


5 thoughts on “There is No Fear in Love (the post I almost didn’t write)

  1. I’m a trans who hasn’t come out of the closet. If I did I would be kicked out of my home. I don’t have anywhere else to live right now and can’t live like the guy I feel I am inside. What is your advice as a Christian? Do I just keep hiding my true self? Do I learn to live with everything? or do I do something about it all?

    1. Thank you so much for your openness, Mat. I can’t begin to imagine the inner turmoil your situation must cause. To be honest, I feel very under-qualified to give any sort of advice on the matter, particularly “as a Christian,” since my beliefs are currently in quite a state of flux.
      That said, it seems unhealthy on many levels, as well as unnecessarily painful and shackling, not to be honest with others about who you are. Those who really love you, who are worth sharing life with, wouldn’t shun you for it. From how you describe your home situation, coming out would be a huge risk, but I pray that you can find the bravery to do whatever you decide is best. And remember, there are others out there who understand exactly what you’re going through, who would have your back in ensuing difficulty. I hope that you can know the peace and relief of being fully and openly who you are. If you need to talk, please feel free to email me me at
      Love you!

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