Month: June 2016

Stranger in the Mirror

Cold air
Thunderous clamor
One moment and no sense can be made
What is sense anyway?
All you have known is being
Existence free of self
Free of thought
Free of awareness
Now what?
Chaotic knot of flesh and blood
in whirlwind of stimuli
But you learn to weather the storm
and when the earth ceases pitching beneath your feet
when the dancing, ghoulish colors settle into stable forms
You meet yourself
for the very first time
Oh, curse and blessing of humanity
Once your eyes have met themselves
there is no forgetting
the stranger in the mirror
A puppet, a plaything
animated only by you, untouchable but omnipresent
not yet registered as an extension
of your soul, perhaps
rightly so

Thin air
Deafening silence
As in a vacuum
Your lungs a vacuum, but failing
Failing to find breath
No air to breathe,
or to scream
or even to cry
In this moment, this blind moment,
what sense can be made?
All you know is not being
Invisible, a wraith
A wisp about to vanish on a puff of wind
No light, no word, not even pain
can reach you
though you wish,
You do
that it would.
Ceasing to know yourself, over-acquainted
Having studied every aspect
(so you thought)
Abhorring it more each day
Wishing it gone,
Wasting away
till perhaps you may be again still, and warm
Ash in the womb of the earth
But you are haunted by
that stranger in the mirror
Your jailer, your mocker
Parasite leeching your lifeblood, omnipresent
But its strength is your own
Your hand cannot sever nor starve it
Your only companion in this void
Truer than death

Thick air
Phantasmic voices
All sense you had made
your solid ground
fleeing into the grey unknown
Earth convulsing beneath you
Beyond sight
Beyond feeling
as if your very being seeks to abandon you
In this wasteland
Losing thought
Losing awareness
now flesh and blood melt away
All the stable forms of your world
Dissolve into dancing, ghoulish colors
You lose yourself
for the very first time
Oh, blessing and curse of sight
Some part of you, long in slumber
sparks alight in exhilaration
to burn through the fog and find a way
But fear clings, the only self you know
wishing once again to close your eyes with its cold fingers
Into the comfort of past coma
To forget
The stranger in the mirror
Beckoner, singer
somehow familiar as an old friend
but wild and perilous as the sea
and more truly you
than any vestige that clings,

Adventure on the breeze
Myriad songs on its wings
Senses alive, overwhelmed
but not in fear
All you know is being,
free of what you thought
Your self was
More aware than ever
Flesh and blood fused to earth and sky
dancing with the storm
Losing yourself
Finding more every day2722ff4b739e0299fe075f7f4675e9aa
and when you glance behind and see
The stranger in the mirror
Your ghost, your shell
You wonder that it ever contained you
perhaps shed a tear for the years in the dark
but there remains no moment for
the futility of wishing away what was
This path, paved with broken shards
shaped you, sculpted
this masterpiece
gave you the strength to turn your back on

The stranger in the mirror